: Leaving the state for any reason.
: The 48 states south of Alaska.
: Anyone new to Alaska.
Anyone old to Alaska.
A very small, food storage cabin - elevated out of reach of animals and your kids.
Small, very tiny worms that actually live in glacial ice.
Handguns .357, 44 magnum or better, Pump 12 gauge shotgun, or small, handheld nuclear weapons.
Money from the state for living in Alaska.
Bear Insurance #2:
It's the best protection of all...always be with someone you can outrun.
No...it's not something you just stepped in out there on the tundra, but rather very warm, fur boots usually knee high.
Places in Alaska you can only get to by plane or boat (that's almost the entire state).
The first, light dusting of snow on just the mountain tops. It's a warning - the first, really big snow is just around the corner. This of course, triggers an huge shopping frenzy.
When Alaskans start bouncing off the walls, from being inside those walls, way too long in winter.
All-wheel drive vehicle owners learning they can't drive fast on snow and ice.
A pre-entry to your home where dirty, slushy boots, winter gear, mud boots, work clothes, etc... can be taken off before they're taken off 'inside' your clean house.
Mosquito Dope (aka Bug Juice):
Mosquito repellant: spray, liquid, and roll on. Patches, bracelets, smoke rings, and citronella anything.
Waders - leg, hip, or chest waders.
Casting a fishing line where 1500 other people are doing the same thing at the same time. Oh! and you only have six inches between you and those on either side of you.
Any concert, recital, or competition for singing.
The process of all the snow and ice finally melting away marking the end of winter and the beginning of tourist season.
. . .you have more miles on you snowblower than your car.
. . .you're buying a house & you have to ask for water & electricity
as an option.
. . .you have called an 800 number you found in a catalog and then
were told "Alaska? Oh, we don't ship out of the United States."
. . .you put up with the pain of a toothache until the Permanent Fund
Dividend checks come out in October.
. . .you know going "outside" involves a whole lot more than opening a
door and walking into the yard.
. . .you notice the mosquitoes have landing lights.
. . .you have learned to never say to your kids, "Be home by dark."
. . .you know Bunny Boots aren't worn by bunnies or made out
. . .your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
. . .you think the start of moose season is a national holiday.
. . .you know the meaning of the word "baleen" and it has nothing
to do with making hay into large cubes.
. . .you take off your shirt and your arms are as pale as your legs all
the way to your wrists.
. . .you know that the term "Break Up" has more to do with the
weather than personal relationships.
. . .your monthly phone bill is larger than your house payment.
. . .there is a bottle of Avon's Skin-So-Soft in your tackle box.
. . .you don't know anyone who doesn't own a 4-wheeler.
. . .you have ever taken a trip "outside" and tried to cash a traveler's
check, drawn on an Alaskan bank, and the cashier asked you
the current exchange rate in Alaska.
. . .you have ever washed your car while there was still snow on
. . .you have tennis elbow but have never played tennis, just snagged
a lot of salmon.
. . .you know a honey bucket is really a bucket, but it's not really full
of honey. (If you don't know, don't ask)
. . .you know the Naknek twitch is an illegal fishing technique, not a
spasmodic muscle in your neck.
. . .you leave your Christmas lights up, year round, because as soon as
it gets warm enough to take them down it starts getting dark
enough to put them up again.
. . .your bedroom windows are covered in aluminum foil.
. . .you had waffle soles put on your cowboy boots.
. . .you know that a "handi-man-jack" is a device designed to lift a car
to change a flat, not a guy named Jack that comes around
your house on Saturdays to repair minor problems.
. . .you know a "white out" has to do with winter conditions not
correcting fluid for typos.
. . .you think it's normal for a town to put all the businesses on
one side of the road.
. . .you frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't
prowl on your deck.
. . .you know which leaves make good toilet paper.
. . .the mayor greets you on the street by your first name.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN ALASKA IF...